Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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