awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
