yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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