Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize