he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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