she was so not down for the gang bang
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
