why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
