His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
