I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize