fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
