i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
