I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
