on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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