in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
