is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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