champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
