If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Randomize
