she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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