you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize