the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
