dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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