Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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