No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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