2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
