i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
