toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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