I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
