I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
