So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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