Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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