I wanna bring you to show and tell
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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