youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
