I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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