They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
