well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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