I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
