I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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