i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
