and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
