so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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