is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
