Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
