How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
