Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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