remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
