Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize