I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
