I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
