did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
