I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize