I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Screwed.edu
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
