I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
