They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
