Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
