Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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