It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize