if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
