Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
