took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
