worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
