we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
