So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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