my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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