Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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