she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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