I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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