Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think my tv is drunk
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
