i think my mom watched the whole time
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
